I’m back. And, boy, do I have some loose ends here.

First and foremost, I allegedly have super fast, whoosh-my-hair-back internet now. I can’t tell, because Princess the PMSing Laptop has relapsed and is slowly dying. As I type here, I have no cursor, can easily write an entire sentence before I see what has been written, and can click on a window/tab/anything and count to at least five before something happens. So today I offer up this heartfelt prayer:

Dear IRS, after last year’s heart-attack-inducing “We owe HOW MUCH???” incident, we changed our withholdings and are praying for a refund. Please let there be a refund. Any refund will directly carried to the Apple Store and exchanged for a computer that actually works. (Wow. Imagine that, a computer that works. What’s that like?) This will stimulate the economy and I will be regarded as a hero for aforementioned stimulation. You can thank me later. Off to gather tax info for my accountant, Jen.

I poisoned myself went for dim sum last weekend. Thought I was doing so well, avoiding the wheat items and eating the rice items. Uh, no. I managed only to heavily glutenize myself and have been wiped since about Tuesday. Took me the better part of three days to figure out WTF I did to feel so bad. I’m still recovering, as evidenced by the fact that I slept until 9 this morning. That was partly due to a dog with a sudden case of I HAVE TO PEE!!!!! at 4 this morning, and partly because the boys didn’t want me to find out that they had dragged A’s mattress downstairs to watch TV. They are now using it as a trampoline as they watch Garfield. Please pity me.

If you haven’t been participating in the Twitter #gtchat chats, you’re missing out. Yesterday’s topics were Asynchronous Development and Twice Exceptionalities. Because I was still setting up my new modem/router (seriously, can anything concerning computers be easy for me for a change?) I missed the entire 2e chat. Grumble, grumble…but transcripts have been posted. Asynchronous development here and 2e here. Chats are every Friday at noon EST and 7pm EST. Details can be found at Ingeniosus and new topics to be voted on are posted every week.

This post is taking forfreakingever to write. I hate this POS laptop. I type insanely fast and I’m into a half hour here. (edit: it’s five hours later and I’m still working on this, simply because my frustration level keeps shooting through the roof)

Missy, bless her heart, left me not one, but two awards this week. I have to combine the blog list ’cause I will kill my computer if I link back to 22 bloggers.

Along with the award comes . . . R-U-L-E-S.  Here they are:

A. List 10 things that make you happy.
B. Try to do at least one of them today.
C. Tag 10 bloggers that brighten your day.
D. For those 10 bloggers who get the award, you then link back to my blog and create your own “makes you happy” list.

Ten things that make you happy…ordinarily this wouldn’t be hard, but I still feel like crap from the gluten poisoning and that tends to make me less than happy. Let’s see what I can come up with.

1. Sunshine in February
2. Any temp over 50F in February
3. Coffee with friends
4. Wine and Whine with friends
5. Pandora
6. When the boys genuinely love on each other
7. A hot shower after a hard workout, not that I’ve had the energy for that this week
8. My iPhone…because IT WORKS (hear that, you miserable POS? You can’t miss it, I’M TYPING ON YOU!!!!)
9. When the dog farts and I’m in the other room and don’t have to breathe it in. Never happens, because she’s always under my feet. But I hope.
10. Monday mornings, when I can kick the boys out the door to school.

In the tradition of this award, here are the rules I must oblige by in order to pass it on:

- Put the logo on your blog or within your post.  Check.
- Pass the award onto 12 bloggers.  Check.
- Link the nominees within your post.  Check.
- Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.  Check.
- Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.  Check.

I’m only linking to 6, because, again, my computer would keel over…I’ve been working on this post for too long…I’m tired and want to go lie down.

1. Nancy at Away We Go. I love her sense of humor.
2. cms at Ends with 8741. She has had a hard week.
3. Lynn at For Love or Funny. Again, makes me laugh.
4. Karin at HeartSongs. She has also had a terrible week.
5. The gals at So ‘Over’ Everything. Another blog on intense, 2e kids. Good to find.
6. Dawn at Weldable Cookies. She is a wonderful friend, has talked me off many a ledge, and never fails to surprise.

Frankly, there are too many. Eventually I’ll get my blogroll up in the header where it says “reading list.” Guess how long that’s been in the queue? Yeah, just slightly short of forever. If you made it this far, congratulations, you made it farther than I did. I gave up long ago and the monkeys quit their Shakespeare and finished this for me.

Ah, the first day of February. Or, as we’ve been calling it ’round these parts, “DON’T GET SICK NOW!,” aka the day our new health insurance goes into effect. The one that’s going to cost more for less coverage. Yeah, that one. I don’t have insurance cards, the HSA debit card, and I have to pick up a prescription today. Yeah, good thing my thyroid medication isn’t for a life-threatening condition.

I started today with a to-do list that had me hyperventilating and my throat closing up. Dawn, bless her heart, talked me off the ledge through IM and now, with some lunch, Coke Zero, and a bunch of M&Ms in me, I think I’ll live. Still looking forward to some wine tonight, though.

…note…I started this three hours ago, am on my second Coke Zero, and have to leave in a half hour. Did much get done? Yes. Do I have an answer on my HSA debit card? Yes. Can I pick up my prescription today? No. On the plus side, it’s sunny and warm. Boring post today?

Yup.

First things first.

I know how blessed I am.

I discussed this very topic over at Hopeful Parents the other day. While I know it, and remind myself of it often, sometimes I just get pissy.

All moms need a break, a respite, a chance to get the hell away and recoup. Some get that break, most don’t. And what we see on the outside isn’t always what is going on on the inside. A mom could be handling things just fine, but on the inside her brain is melting and desperately needs some time to herself, where she has no responsibility other than choosing what to put in her coffee. Or what kind of wine to enjoy. Or if she wants fresh-cracked pepper on her heirloom lettuce salad.

This was to be my weekend. My chance to get the hell outta Dodge, to make no decisions, to sit and read and write and think and have no responsibilities whatsoever. I figured I needed about a day and a half to get caught up on the computer work that has dogged me for weeks and another day to just be a slug. I’d return home refreshed and ahead, in preparation for my husband traveling for the better part of the next several weeks.

You know what they say about the best laid plans, right?

Tom has a titchy back. I have now dubbed her “Bernice,” simply because I like assigning names to things, and because he’s not here right now to weigh in. Bernice is a jealous bitch. Bernice does not like to be ignored. Bernice is a Mean Girl. Bernice showed up unannounced and unwelcome to our weekend away at a five star resort. Tom is technically working, but I had planned to retire to the deliciously opulent room and disappear from the world for awhile. Bernice showed up and I just couldn’t. Tom had to take a muscle relaxant so he could function, and I couldn’t leave him alone. I needed to make sure he was ok, that he was sitting as much as he could, that he wouldn’t keel over. No matter what, my family comes first.  He’s ok today (so far), but I lost all of Friday.

I know how blessed I am to even be here, despite Bernice’s arrival. I know this. I know that the world is in terrible shape in so many ways, and that this is incredibly minor in the grand scheme of things. I feel guilty even feeling this way.

But.

I really needed this weekend. Not just wanted, but needed. Tom is traveling much of the next few weeks. My stress level in the last few weeks has gotten worrisome (when my left eye starts twitching and/or I get throbbing pressure behind it, I know I’m deep into the red zone). I’m scared and worried about the future. I feel guilty that I’m not better supporting my family. I get to the end of each day and wonder where the hell the time went, and if my whole life is going to be like that, eventually looking back at my life and wondering where it went. I just needed a few days to myself, to hit the restart button and maybe slow down that out-of-control treadmill of life for a bit. February, my least favorite month of the year, starts Monday. Past Februarys haven’t been kind to me. I was hoping to have built up a bit of reserves before it got here.

Again, I am insanely blessed in my life.

But if Bernice, that bitch, shows her damned face again anytime soon, I’m going to rip it off.

That I also write at Hopeful Parents?

And today is my day for posting?

And I have a post up today?

And my parents are visiting?

And Tom and I are leaving in the morning for a few days away?

And that this is all I got today in my wee widdle bwain?

Yeah, I’m sure you figured it out by now.

My positive karma account was just depleted when J was accepted into full-day kindergarten, that’s all. I’m kinda hoping it refills here pretty soon, as I’m tired of being in the red with that account.

A is home sick today. Too sick for school, not sick enough to sleep all day. So we’ve been watching the Bill Nye videos we got at the library yesterday, and the Science of Disney Imagineering videos we picked up too. I’m wildly in love with this series, and if they weren’t $50 a pop, I’d buy all five. So far today he’s learned (and taken the DVD quiz to prove he’s retained) about magnetism and Newton’s Three Laws of Physics. Uh-huh, more learning here today coughing on the couch than he would have gotten over the fence.

But still, home sick. Which meant I had to cancel two appointments today, and slowed down long enough to realize I don’t feel so hot. Not exactly sick, just really tired/sleepy/wiped out. This must stop. Now. Today. I have a free weekend with my husband at a five star resort this weekend, my parents flying in to watch the boys, and I’ll be damned if I miss it because my little petri dishes shared their goo with me.

So I’m going to spend my sick/not sick day on the couch with A while he watches videos and plays on my iPhone (yes, I’m that awesome). Have laptop, will work from couch. I’ll be able to read and comment on all the blogs I haven’t had a chance to read. Current reader count: 351. Sigh. It hasn’t been under 200 since before Thanksgiving. Funny thing….people might come here and comment if I go to their site and comment. You’d think I’d remember that. I can finally get to work on my resume, provided I can pull myself away from job hunting sites to actually work on it. That particular horse is looking around and thinking, “Duuuude, I might be low on opposable thumbs and have a brain the size of a pear, but even I know that cart should be behind me.” So, yeah. Update the 10 year old resume first, search second. I might even be able to iron out a few areas of my life. (Imagine a pair of white linen pants that you forgot in the dryer. They now resemble a relief map of the western United States. That is the current state of most everything I’ve touched lately).

I will gather strength for the parent/teacher conferences this afternoon. One will have a teacher telling us everything is faboo, the other will have a teacher telling us everything is not entirely faboo, and we really should meet to discuss the future. Yes, I know, I’ve been saying that for awhile now. Welcome to the party.

But before I begin my sprint towards the rest of the day (and really, when did life become a marathon at a sprint’s pace?), I need a nap. I’m going away this weekend unless there’s projectile vomit involved, but I’d really prefer to enjoy it.

I participated in the very first Twitter #gtchat yesterday. Both of them, actually. And…learned that they’re a lot more fun when you have your Twitter settings on public because then people hear you when you talk. My dark technology karma continues. Live and learn, Jen, live and learn. So if you are here from #gtchat, welcome! Glad you came by. I do have to warn you, however, that I do not write exclusively on giftedness and twice-exceptionalities. I mean, I suppose I could, but I’m fairly certain I’d go insane rather quickly. Long walk off a short pier sort of thing. I can’t write completely about 2e for the same reason that I have a huge library of books on giftedness/intensities/2e/ADHD, and have read very few of them. By the time I get the peace I need to read and concentrate, the last thing I want to do is read about the craziness that has me craving that very peace and concentration. So I crawl into bed with the latest Funny Times, laugh, and have more pleasant dreams.

So no 2e today, just random laughs. While the search terms bringing people here aren’t nearly as funny as some, still I sometimes look at the phrase and wonder just what the hell is going on in the world, and why people thought the answers would be found here.

• why am i ageing so fast
  Well, going out on a limb here, but if you have kids, there’s your answer. Want to age faster? I’ll send you mine. My hair can’t handle much more covering the gray coloring enhancement.
• adult projectile poop
  Please, whoever you are, stay away from my house. My sons are finally to the “wiping their own butts” age, and I can throw the dog outside if she poops on the floor. I have enough shit in my life, I need no help from you. Oh, and good luck with that. Might want to add some fiber to your diet.
• blogging sites for kids/kids blogging sites/kids blogging websites
  I get an amazing amount of hits on this. If I knew what I was doing, I’d start a blogging platform for kids, but I can barely run my own blog, so that’s out for a future career. But I totally know what I’d love to see on a kids’ blogging platform, so if anyone out there wants to partner up, I’m your gal. In the meantime, I recommend a Blogger site and protect the absolute hell out of it.
• Intuniv
  Oh, the hits just keep on comin’! Every day there is at least one new search on Intuniv and my heart just breaks. I know the person searching is likely a parent trying to get some answers or figure out if the new ADHD would work for his/her kid. Chewing it? Yes, your kid will likely be fine if he chews it. He’ll enjoy the gag-inducing flavor of a drug not meant to be chewed, but it can be done without your child growing a third arm. Why must you wean slowly off Intuniv? Because it’s essentially a blood pressure lowering drug, and if you simply stop, the kid’s blood pressure will shoot through the roof as a rebound. At least that’s how I understood it when A’s doctor explained it. No longer working? Sorry to hear that. Apparently the perfect ADHD drug is still a myth.

Crap. That was a 2e-related note. I’ll try harder…

• tripitis sex
  Is this supposed to be “triplets” or “trapeze?” A new gender? Is it contagious? And seriously, how’d you end up here? Bet you were disappointed as hell!
• tiruba tuba
  Knowing tuba players, you might want to hook up with the tripitis sex searcher. You likely have a lot in common.
• full moon and adhd
  Yes, yes, and yes. And also the answer to why you’re aging so fast.

Oh, and did you know the evil rob0ts are after us again? Yeah, so say the boys. And gummy bears are chasing them too. Sounds like a bad LSD trip, but is just a Saturday of imaginative play. Uh-oh! The ship is about to blast off, J went through the airlock, and A is now controlling the robots’ minds. Good times, good times.

Last night Mile High Mamas hosted a night out at Boulder’s Sephora. Now, I’m not a girly-girl…one look at me will pretty much tell you that. I wear makeup to keep from frightening animals and small children, and shoes are for keeping my feet off the pavement, not to make a style statement. Yes, please insert your snarky Crocs comment here. I do know how to dress well, but would rather wear jeans and a top than part with my remaining brain cells to try to do more than that. God help me if I actually do find some sort of part-time job that requires me to be more professional. I can do it, but there will be much gnashing of teeth involved. I got away with khakis and loafers as a band director…not so sure I could pull that off in an office setting.

So anyhoo, I attended the MHM shindig in Boulder last night. The Apple Store next store to Sephora nearly pulled me in with its shining, promising hope of a better computing tomorrow (soon, my precious, soon…), but I stayed strong and avoided its siren call. (Yes, I would prefer to drop money there than on cosmetics, I admit it). Despite my non-girly girl status and comfy shoe preference, I had a fantastic time last night. I got a hand massage with extra lotion, because my hands went all sponge on the poor lady and sucked it all in (that would be the loud slurping sound everyone heard last night). I had a facial with the Clarisonic skincare brush (nice and soft, and I glowed afterwards). I had makeup applied. I found a lipcolor I not only liked but would wear and it came home with me (seriously, I never wear lipstick. Ever. Too many years of lip balm as a flute player. But this was a fantastic lip gloss, not too shiny, in a lovely color (sandy), and it tingled and made my scrawny lil’ lips plump up. Win win.). I had a professional head shot taken at a “Tom will not kill me because we’re trying to cut back” price. I really needed the head shot; my last one is at least ten years old and I’m holding a flute. Not exactly up to date.

I got pampered. And I liked it.

Many thanks to Mile High Mamas and Sephora for hosting the gathering last night. I had a wonderful time with all the moms there, and can’t wait for the next event. I hear it has something to do with wine. Now that is my kind of event!

I finally did it. After years of struggle, and months of putting it off, I sent A’s teachers/counselors/principal a detailed email describing what we’ve been going through and begging for help. I finally came to the conclusion that I can do all the reading and researching and implementing here I want, but without the help of the people with him for the better part of the day, I’m just Sisyphus. This was the first time I sent an email to everyone. Before now, it was just a “please help” email to a single teacher, maybe two. This time was “PLEASE HELP AND HERE’S WHY” to anyone who could help him. Vague promises of accommodations are no longer enough. Not for this kid. I want it in writing, I want it in an IEP, I want it to follow him to any school he may attend.

Tom and I have ideas of what he needs to succeed, but as this is our first trip to this particular amusement park, we know there are things we’ll miss without guidance. Here’s where you all come in. If you could have any accommodations for your child at school, what would they be? Aim high, money no object, flip off the state testing. What would your perfect accommodations be? What is the perfect world for a gifted kid in elementary school?

Tweet this, stumble it, shout it to the heavens. Let’s get a discussion going. Our kids can all benefit.

Technology was supposed to make our lives easier, right? I never really believed the flying cars or robot maids part of The Future, but technology working for us? Yup,  hook/line/sinker. I look back to what we had when I was A’s age and go slack-jawed at the progress (when I was eight, we didn’t have a computer, but we did have old punch cards from room-sized computers that my dad had from a previous job). Now I have sons who Skype each other between rooms. In the same house. On the same floor.

The downside to all this is that it can’t run itself, so we have to stay on top of the freaking machines so they freaking WORK have the opportunity to interact with the various technologies. And when the computer has issues (really, I’d link, but damn, it’d just be one underlined word after another for a couple of paragraphs) and things are s-l-o-w, it just takes forever.

So, in the interest of saving money during this time of OMFG OUR HEALTH INSURANCE IS GOING TO BE WHAT?, we are consolidating various technologies around the house and dropping others. As much as we love DirecTv, we’ve scaled our plan way back rather than just dropping it. This means there’s no tv in the basement (sorry boys, suck it up), and the channels we get have been greatly reduced. Including music channels…including XM Kids. This is not going over well with the young creatures in the house.

I’m also bundling internet and phone, getting a better plan for a heck of a lot less coin. This means I get unlimited long-distance free and super zippy internet. So fast I expect to hear wheeeee when I send an email and whooooosh when I open a new web page. Unfortunately, I have to drop my current ISP, and as many times as customer service tells me I’ll be able to keep the old email addresses, I don’t believe them because technology tends to turn on me when I least expect it. During the changeover, I’ll be without the internets for a few days. It is physically painful to write that sentence. Unless I can find the setting on the iPhone to go straight to 3G and not search for wifi, I’m going to be rocking with my thumb in my mouth until I’m back online. And we all know it won’t go smoothly. Not a pessimist, a realist. Nothing with this computer/modem/router has ever gone smoothly.

So, I’m now off to cancel my ISP and pray it only takes a day to get back online. If you don’t hear from me by the end of the week, it may not be because the internets is still down…it may be because I took a sledgehammer to the whole damned thing and moved into a cave.

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If you parent/teach/know a gifted kid, there is a gifted chat on Twitter this Friday!!! The hashtag is #gtchat (NOT NOT NOT the previously announced #nomoremyths). Please join if you can! Deborah has all the details on her blog, Ingeniosus. And please pass the word to other teachers and parents. Hey, I invited our GT coordinator and essentially outed this blog to the school by doing so; you can invite people you know. That is how strongly I feel about this, and gifted advocacy in general. Join!