Last summer I discovered that my allergies were significantly improved if I took Benadryl AND Sudafed at the same time. I got all the allergy relief, and their side effects cancelled each other out. Seriously, Benadryl knocks me out cold. One time I took it and also gave it to A (he was about 20 months or so); I was passed out on the couch and he was doing laps up on the ceiling. At least, that’s what it looked to me in my drug-induced haze. And before you give me hell about mixing those two drugs, I got the ok from my doctor for my allergy cocktail.

I’ve been hurtin’ lately with my allergies from hell, and it’s only March. So this morning I took my little mix, with an ibuprofin chaser for the headache I woke up with. And…well, this is what the Sudafed said to me:

S: “Hey, eff off you uptight beeyotch. It be Friday, it be bee-yuuu-tiful outside, I’s goin’ out to work on my tan.”

Me: “Ugggghhhhh…”

S: “Don’t you be sassin’ me woman. I gots Benadryl takin’ goooood care of ya today.”

Me: (stumble, gulping down coffee) “Uggggghhhhhh…”

I think the only thing keeping me from falling asleep at this point is the fact that I’m enjoying a great deal of delicious silence. And the 20 items on the to-do list.

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