Archive for July 1st, 2008

I only recognize how miserably hot it is because our hvac system sucks donkey danglies. Furnace dudes claim our air conditioning unit is actually large for our size house, but you’d never know it sitting in here. Tom’s office (on the SW corner of the house) is easily 25 degrees warmer than the rest of the house year-round. When we finished our basement two years ago, the inspector told me she was excited to see how our contractor did the ceiling because we had “the worst laid-out ductwork” she’d ever seen.

So if you’re looking for an anniversary gift for me (this Sunday…12 years!), bring me the brain-dead idiot who designed this nightmare of a duct system with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where’s the Tylenol?*

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*With love from my favorite holiday movie, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.