Archive for January, 2009

“As a result of our lottery, your child has been selected for the full day class.”

August 19, 2009. A day eight years in coming.

Holy crap, they’ll both be in full-time school this fall.

In less than one hour I will leave to get J from preschool.

I will pick up the mail on the way.

In the mail will be an envelope.

In the envelope will be a letter.

In the letter will be the information about kindergarten 2009.

That information will tell me if I’ve officially sold my soul to the devil for full-day. My receipt, if you will. Nasty return policy.

If he’s in full-day, you’ll hear my yelps of glee.

If he’s not in full-day, you’ll hear my scramble for supplemental education.

For, you see, 140 kids registered for kindergarten for this fall.

That is not a typo. One hundred forty kids. One-four-zero.

Half applied for full-day kindergarten.

There is one full-day class of 24.

If he got in, I’m buying a lottery ticket tonight.

Oh thank God and all the saints, they’re gone…

This morning those two front teeth were disgusting beyond measure. One pointed northwest, the other southeast. Gah. Even A, the sensory child that he is, had had enough. He tried to have me do it (gag), then finally just went into the bathroom and yanked one out. And that’s when I learned something very important. I can handle puke. A projectile-vomiting child is gross, but I can do it. But a kid with a bloody dangling tooth…my gag reflex sets off red flashing lights and klaxon horns. He couldn’t go to school with one bloody tooth in front, so Tom took care of it for me. He’s on tooth detail for the next ten years. And the Tooth Fairy felt bad that she gagged all over this morning, and that the teeth had to be pulled, so A is getting Bakugan instead of money.

The Tooth Fairy will be forgiven, I’m sure.

Pictures still elude me, but words I can do.

This is turning my stomach something fierce this week:

Child, if those goddamned teeth don’t fall out soon, I’m pulling them while you sleep. Help them along, for crying out loud! They’ve been hanging by a thread for weeks!

This raises my blood pressure:

What’s that, you ask? That’s my wireless setup, after I had to move everything around as I worked with Earthlink’s tech support because I have the world’s worst modem. (Uh…Earthlink? In case you haven’t noticed, unemployment is through the roof here in the States. Think you could move tech support back here from Mumbai? ‘Cause “Steve,” “Mark,” and “Rachel” aren’t terribly easy to understand, and I grew up with that accent. M’kay? Great, thanks.)  My internet intermittently goes out every single day, for no reason, for various lengths of time. After calling back and talking to “Maria,” I finally convinced them that the modem is an ancient POS (it’s at least 4 years old…a dinosaur in computer time) and please, for the love of all things holy, send me a new one before I set my hair on fire. As they didn’t want me going all crazy on them, I’m getting a new modem and it should be here in 5-7 days. And then I get to reassemble all those wires back behind the bookcase that is attached to the wall.

One last thing…it’s causing me to walk around with a glass of wine in one hand and a paper bag in the other…I find out about J’s kindergarten by Friday, very likely tomorrow. There were 140 registered, 80 requested full day…for a class of 24. So unless my luck changes and the planets align and the Cubs win the pennant and hell freezes over…it’s very likely he’ll be in afternoon kindergarten and I’ll have to find something for him in the morning. And he’ll still probably be bored: this is a kid who read the words “difficult,” “popular,” and “ocean” tonight. Slightly more difficult than the high-frequency words he’ll learn in K. And I haven’t taught any of those words to him, he’s teaching himself.

Oh, and eventually I’ll get back to writing something amusing and non-angst-y. Promise.

I’ve determined that, for me, balance is deciding which plates to let drop so the others can keep spinning. Not…have fewer plates or allow them all to spin a few rotations slower, but allow one at a time to shatter so I can run around spinning the others…then haul out the vacuum to clean up the pieces. Sound exhausting? It is. Perhaps I should work on that.

Several plates wobbled and fell this week, and I just allowed it to happen for my own sanity. Tom was gone most of the week again and I.was.done. Instead of running around spinning plates for the sake of spinning plates, I consciously took some off and packed them away, and watched as several others fell and shattered. The vacuum and super glue will be out in full force this week. With luck I won’t glue my fingers together. Tough to type like that.

So what have I been doing instead?

I’ve been reading about giftedness again, twice-exceptionalities, and visual-spatial learners. Courtesy of Amazon, I have a stack of books to read and notate. The ball is rolling for A, and J’s ball is at the top of the hill, with my foot poised behind it. (I had a bit of a AGH!!! moment this week when I found out that our district is now offering early enrollment to kindergarten or 1st grade for highly qualified kids. A would have been perfect for this program, and J isn’t quite there. Damn.) I’ve also been searching for help concerning 2e kids. This has taken up most of my week. And my brain.

I’ve been yelling at my stupid modem and cursing the internets. My modem will just go out, for no reason and with no warning. It’s out right now as I compose this on Word. This has been happening for months; I’ve replaced the router, so that’s not it, it’s the modem. So this means I get to call Earthlink tomorrow and hope to hell I can understand tech support. I just need a modem that works. Yes, I’ve unplugged and jostled and jiggled and lit a candle and said a prayer and offered up sacrifices…can you just tell me if you’re going to send me a new modem or should I just run down to the electronics store and get one and be back up and running in thirty minutes? Because I’m tired of this crap.

I’ve been cooking. A lot. After temperatures in the low 70s mid-week, Friday the temps dropped 30 degrees and they keep dropping. It’s cold and snowing right now, and so I cook. I made my famous spaghetti sauce (double batch, of course) yesterday; today I have a double batch of the best chili in the world on the stove. A good friend of mine is pregnant. She has a boy A’s age with Asperger’s, a five year old daughter with SPD…and is pregnant with twin boys. The mere thought makes the little hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention in fear, but she’s thrilled. I figured she’s going to have her hands full, so I made her a bunch of gluten-free freezer meals this weekend too.

I’ve been ignoring my feed reader, my emails (if you’re waiting for an email from me, it’s coming, I promise), and the tv. Oh, and the blogs I write for. I started several different posts in my head, including one as a response to something political my brother in law wrote on his Facebook page (because I know I was the “some people” described)…but then plates slipped and fell and, well, there ya go.

Yesterday I finally sorted and organized all my digital photos. Took me most of the day, but they are finally done. I can now actually find the photos I’m looking for. Today I backed them up on DVDs so I don’t have to panic about losing them. This week I’ll start uploading them to Shutterfly so I can get, you know, real pictures in my hands. Getting this done lifted such a burden from my shoulders. After awhile, projects that keep getting pushed back again and again become a weighty burden and you don’t realize it until you feel so much lighter.

I got all my recipes into one binder and now can find them. That oughta make meal planning easier, ya think? And that’s another project that’s been dogging me for months. Feels so good to have that one done.

I’ve been cleaning my house. Wow. Will wonders never cease? Even got all the laundry done today.

I’ve been pondering the economy, calmly…with a tinge of panic. And wondering how families survived the Great Depression. I want to find some books and resources on that topic. Are we in, or heading towards, another Depression? I have no idea, I’m not an economist. But something…well, my spidey senses are tingling and I want to be ready.

I’ve been doing the mental bellyaching that accompanies not taking care of yourself. The plate labeled “exercise” has long since shattered; in fact, it’s shattered so often and so hard it’s really not much more than ceramic dust at this point. My body hurts, and it’s only my fault. But, when you’re so focused on keeping plates spinning, that feels like exercise when it’s really only mental cacophony.

I’ve been practicing the violin with J. Someone tell me…WTF was I thinking? He enjoys it, but it’s a fight. He has great hand position (and I’m not saying this because I’m the mom, I’m saying it as a music teacher), but it’s a fight. He can get a decent sound when he tries, but it’s a fight. He’s only four…so get a grip, mom.

Things will be better this week. The plates that fell will be swept up and repaired, others will wobble and threaten to fall. But at least I’ll have clean clothes, a freezer full of food, and my husband around as I dash around spinning those plates. In the meantime, I’ve been laughing at this, and wondering just what will be different and amazing 28 years from now.

Today is my Gram’s birthday, or would have been, had Alzheimer’s not taken her a few years ago. The lady loved a good party, and today we all partied. I will lift a glass to her this evening, in her memory, and in celebration of the future of our country.

I attended an inauguration once, 20 years ago, for Bush 41. This was much better. Warmer, for one. Hopeful, for another.

I sat and watched the swearing-in this morning, alone in the house for a change, alternating between cheers and soul-deep sobbing. Today is the first day of our future. Corny, I know, but accurate. I lingered on the couch as long as I could justify, for I knew as soon as I rose that things would be different.

See, I was pregnant with A eight years ago when the Past Occupant (damn, that feels good to type) was sworn in. And I have always seemed to connect the disaster of his administration with the difficulties of parenting/raising A/dealing with it all. Before 43 was sworn in, things were not easy by any means, but easier. Then he got sworn in…and A was born (and didn’t sleep/wouldn’t gain weight/had colic/ongoing challenges)…and 9/11 hit…and it was downhill from there. I have deep faith that the country will improve under President Obama (and that feels even better to type), and deeper hope that things will improve with A. The next four years will be years of growth, of change, of improvement…for the country, for my son.

Now, let’s get to work. We have a lot of challenges ahead of us. And we are capable and strong enough for every every challenge that comes our way.

Let’s go.

Today we made history. Today we awoke from an eight-year nightmare. Today we hit the ground running. Today is the first day of the best years in America’s history.

See ya, George. Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

And good riddance.

‘Tis the first Friday Flashback over at My Tiny Kingdom and the theme is “Red, White, and Blue.” What do you think of when you hear “Red, White, and Blue?” The Fourth of July, of course. And, boy howdy, do I have a story to tell.

Every year we host a Independence Day party, held on the 3rd of July, when the golf course in our subdivision has a big honkin’ fireworks display. They advertise it as the Largest Fireworks Display On The Front Range, and I’m not gonna argue. It’s huge. We host a party for my crazy scrapbooking friends and their families and we have a great time. Friends, fun, and they all hang here until the traffic dies down, so the party goes on for awhile.

It was July, 2007. Fireworksapalooza. And Tom had a brand new grill he couldn’t wait to use for a large group. To change things up, we were doing cedar smoked salmon in addition to hamburgers and hot dogs. I bought some cedar planks and we prepped them according to the instructions. They had to be soaked in water, to protect them from the fire, and to produce the cedar smoke.

The salmon was oiled, given a light shaking of kosher salt, and onto the planks they went for their trip in the grill. All was well until Tom went into the house for a minute.

Now, before I continue, I must note that I missed all this. I was across the yard (which isn’t very big) talking to our neighbor and missed the whole thing.

Tom returned to the grill to discover smoke billowing out from under the grill lid. Mistake one. He opened the lid to discover the cedar planks on fire. Mistake two. The grill is two feet from the house. Mistake three. Have I ever mentioned that his brother was a volunteer fire fighter and is now an EMS?

He yelled,”HOSE!!!” Now, this being a gathering of scrapbookers, no one moved for a hose, but everyone moved for a camera. Even the ER nurse.

(Ooh, you can sweet my suh-WHEET white trash patio here, pre-patio refurb last summer)

Once he got the hose, which had no nozzle because the kids had been playing with it and he took the time to reattach it, he, um, cooled off the grill.

Mmmm…smokylicious!

He got the fire out, closed the lid, and turned around and announced, “Fish is done!”

But the fish was fantastic.

Fast forward one year. This group of friends love to tease and poke fun (which I love…they’re also the ones involved in the beeeyoutiful watch Tom has). Well, they couldn’t let the one year anniversary of the Fish That Flamed Out pass without notice. And how better to make a point than with six willing accomplices?

In case you can’t read it, the shirt says, “Tom’s Torchin’ BBQ…nothin’s too hot” and the picture is the one with the flames. On the back:

“I like mine well done!”

The shirts? Favorites of the boys.

Lesson learned? Grill fish in foil packets.

The friends? Always welcome for fireworks…in the air and on the grill.

Whew. I think I can finally start to come back to my senses. This has been quite the week. Tom got home on Saturday, we all got to know one another again on Sunday, and Monday all hell broke loose.

MONDAY! A’s first skin scratch test for multiple food allergies. I had J hanging on me all morning, A all afternoon. He did great, only slight allergic reaction to cottonwoods, white potato (crap), and english walnut (double crap). Lost the better part of the day.

TUESDAY! I had a physical so I could get my happy pills. The nurse (who I’ve known for years) is apparently heavy handed with needles; I have a cruel bruise from the blood draw (hey, I warned her about my reluctant veins) and I can barely lift my arm from the tetanus booster. Running errands on an empty stomach after a blood draw and big shot…don’t recommend it.  I credit the lightheadedness for my innocent query on Facebook, details at 10. Day was shot.

WEDNESDAY! My sitter is sick! And J is now staying home! Because the other two days he’s gone this week are already shot! And my arm is freaking killing me!  And thank you to SpongeBob for filling in as a babysitter! And Suzuki violin is going to kill me, if my neck doesn’t! Sayonara Wednesday!

TODAY! ThankyousweetbabyJesusformyacupuncturist. I feel human again. And A had his second and final skin scratch test today and reacted to nothing. Zip, zero, zilch. Happy he’s apparently allergic to nothing, ticked off that he’s apparently allergic to nothing. More testing next month and if nothing comes from that, western medicine will have done its job and it’s on to homeopathy. Little getting done.

Dootdoot doot doot… Doot doot doot doot… Dootdoot doot doot… Dootdoot doot doot…

Innocent query creates great amount of discussion on Jen’s Facebook page!!! Again, I blame the lack of eating followed by a blood draw, the insane stress earlier in the week, and random curiosity. Coming back from my doctor’s appointment I was supposed to go volunteer in J’s classroom. And I just couldn’t do it. I was wiped, I was hungry, I was cranky, and I needed to recharge my batteries before the boys got home from school. But the guilt was just eating at me. I bailed from volunteering in his classroom in December because it was right before we left for our trip. So I posted a quick question as my status: “What makes a good mom?” and then this: asks for clarification: does a good mom take care of herself to BE a good mom, or does she do for her kids instead? Discuss..”

And, boy, I got answers. All sorts of answers. If you were part of that discussion, you know I got a wide variety of answers, with one big one sticking out. The air mask on the plane model. Care for yourself so that you are able to care for others. Amen. I totally agree with this, I live this (which is why I often tell my boys to get the hell outside already-like right now), I preach it, I scream it from the rooftops. And I often forget it.

But I found one big, huge, glaring difference. I got two responses from guys; one was in direct response, one was a private message. And their responses were…damn. One commented that “mom” and “self” don’t mix very well and the other said

“The fact that you all ask the question, feel some guilt, discuss it with others, and care about the answer, tells me that you are all good moms. Now stop wasting your time.”

Wow. Men are from Mars indeed. I just felt bad that I bailed from volunteering in the classroom. Now I feel worse. Thanks.

Moms, especially moms of challenging kids, are often looked at by society as slackers. At least, that’s how it appears to me. “You stay home with your kids?” or “You don’t work?” or “You work and don’t stay home with your kids?” or “If you’re staying home with your kids why are they acting that way?” or “They’re acting that way because you don’t stay home with your kids.” We can’t win. I was just trying to figure out if a “good mom” would suck it up and go volunteer or if a “good mom” would get a grip on herself so she’s more human when the cherubs get home.

This topic of discussion is far from over, and I’m not wasting my time.

And could this post have been any more rambling?

I’m not dead, I’m overwhelmed to the point of paralysis. From what I’ve gathered, the universe  has been distributing random wedgies today and there’s a lot of people out there going “WTF???”

Tomorrow will be better. I hope.