The Return of Creepy As Hell Stuff I Found In The Sunday Coupons

November 8th, 2009

It’s Dinner Date Night here at the House of Chaos, where we put the boys to bed early and have a delectable dinner while we watch Sunday Night Cartoons, for which we will burn in hell for loving. I thought I’d be doomed for a NaBloPoMo post today, as it’s nearly 7 pm, but then…EUREKA! I opened the Sunday coupons and a wealth of writing presented itself to me. This will be quick, as there is salmon and risotto and wine waiting for me…

Who needs a windowshade Christmas tree? Anyone, anyone??? I am heartbroken that I can’t get a picture here, for it truly must be seen to be believed. A tree. With lights. That stores flat and you pull up on the top and wheeee!!!! A Christmas tree! Just like gramma and grampa used to go out and cut down with their saws. The best part? It’s a Thomas Kincade tree! It just gets better and better…

Does your poor widdle puppy wuppy get cold in the winter? Keep Snookums warm and cozy this season with a Parka/Scarf set! (Agh, couldn’t get the whole picture here, just a snippet). Just don’t piss off that dog, he looks like he could chew your face off if you teased him about his stylin’ outerwear. You’d think he’d have a matching pair of booties, with all that snow, but I guess he’s too macho for that.

Who here spends a lot of time in the car? In and out and in and out (out of the gutter, dudes) and in and out. You could get butt sores from the effort! You need…a 360 degree swivel cushion!!! It swivels! And it’s a memory foam cushion! The fact that anyone who might want one is likely too heavy for it to swivel is just glossed over.

And, finally, what would Creepy As Hell Stuff be without a freaky miniature baby doll? It’s so tiny! It’s so realistic! It fits in your hand! Awww….it’s so creepy and it’s in my Sunday coupons next to the butter!