Archive for December 4th, 2009

(Bet you’re wondering how much longer I can keep coming up with creative ways of combining these two memes, eh? I have no idea.)

Dear Ice Queen Mother Nature:

Are you paying my heating bill this month? Knock it off. It’s December in Colorado, not February in the Yukon.

Shivering in front of the space heater,

Ice Toes

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Dear School District:

As per our agreement, I pay taxes and you educate my sons. I’m holding up my end of the deal; why are my kids out of school so often? A week at Thanksgiving? Two and a half weeks over the holidays? A late start every month? Starting school at 9 am? Am I missing something? There is so.much.concern over state testing and how kids are doing. Lightbulb time! Keep them in school longer, say, 8-3. Two weeks is plenty over the winter holidays, two days off at Thanksgiving enough. And, for the love, out before Memorial Day is freaking insane. Keep ‘em til mid-June and back the day after Labor Day. Better yet, year-round school. Oh, and if you have to send out a crib sheet to explain the report cards, they might be a little confusing. Just go back to ABCDF for grades and 12345 for deportment. And if you give me hand-wringing and whining about “how will we afford this?” and “but we’ve never done that before!,” then know THAT’S why I’m looking into charter schools. When presented with a challenge or opportunity for the kids, our last charter school went with the mindset of “let’s find a way to make this work” and “what a great idea! Let’s do it!” I miss that. Just FYI if we’re not here next year.

Wanting a better education for my sons,

Teacher Jen

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Dear all my bloggy friends

Please stop writing for a few days. My reader is bursting and my eyes are falling out of their sockets trying to keep up.

Poking ‘em back in with a stick,

Blinky

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Dear self:

You are 99% finished with Christmas shopping. Do not pause now, or you will find yourself dashing around at the last minute for that tiny 1%, making yourself and everyone around you miserable. Just get the stuff for the teachers, the dog, and the book for your sister-in-law. Then you may have your one glass of egg nog a year, 1 part nog, 3 parts something stronger than nog.

Get off your duff already,

Self

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Dear Princess the PMSing Laptop:

I am going to replace your hard drive for the last freaking time. You are going to take it and use it and enjoy it and so help me, this is truly it. You have to last until the summer, because the money tree is dormant. That’s a nice word for dead, which is what you will be if you give me any more crap. Suck it up, buttercup.

One finger on the auto-destruct button,

Jen who desperately wants a computer that actually works for the love of all things holy

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Dear sweet Rosie,

I love you. You’re a wonderful dog, perfect for our crazy lives. You’re calm and sweet and live for belly rubs. We adore you. What we do not adore are your paint-peeling, face-melting, Homeland Security Level RED farts. I understand you probably have a nervous tummy and didn’t like us being gone for a week, but DAY-UM! Girl, you gotta learn to hold ‘em til you get outside. The silent-but-deadly routine almost killed us there for a few days. I guess I needn’t worry about ever being gassed, for you have built up my immunity. Whew.

Gasping for air,

Mom

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Go check out other participants in Friday Fragments at Half-Past Kissin’ Time and Dear So and So at 3 Bedroom Bungalow To Let In Crazytown.