Archive for January 3rd, 2010

I love IKEA. Some people call it cheap furniture, I call it “stuff I can afford to buy AND also afford to replace once the boys beat the shit out of it.” Walking into a store makes me happy. A place for everything and everything in its place. Form and function skip down the lane and stop to play tonsil hockey every few blocks. Clean lines and storage that makes me pant. Tom calls the catalog “Jen Porn.” It comes in the mail and and just forget about seeing me for the rest of the day. I’m in seclusion, with a bottle glass of wine and my catalog. I may or may not whisper sweet nothings to it as I mark up the pages with a pen and drool.

Denver does not have an IKEA store. Any items I have, I bought in Chicago and dragged back here. I do love them, but I love the experience even more. Free childcare. Yummy food. Clean couches. We were promised an IKEA store about a year and a half ago, and it will likely be 2012 before it’s open. It’s killing me. So when I saw this ad on my iPhone, I wanted to cry/rant/drive to Chicago:

Really? An IKEA sale ad for a Denver news station? Twist the knife, why don’t ya? I’d love to save 20-60% at The IKEA Sale! LOVE, I tell ya. Sigh…two more years. And, despite the fact that I abhor crowds more than words can express, I will be at opening day. And probably with a bunch of friends.

Oh, and Trader Joe’s? You’re welcome to come to Denver at any time now. I want my Two Buck Chuck.