Archive for the ‘NaBloPoMo’ Category

Made it. Kinda sorta almost entirely barely. But look at that little calendar there! Full of oranged-out dates, full of posts. Good to see.

NaBloPoMo 2009 is done. And while I’ve mostly loved it, there were a few days where the last thing I wanted to do was post. Today was one of them, unfortunately, which is why this is going up so late and is so piss poor. I had every intention of doing a charming wrap-up of the month, and then, wouldn’t you know it?

Life.Happened.

Apparently when you go out of town for a week, even with a dying computer, things pile up and threaten to take over. Things like, oh, I don’t know…Christmas shopping, emails (so sorry if you’ve been waiting for a reply from me), paying bills. And let’s not forget the little matter of playing in a recital next week and not being AT ALL prepared. I’m afraid my neck may make that recital almost impossible. Still hurts to turn my head, so practicing flute doesn’t sound all that appealing. I’ll try again tomorrow and see what happens. I hate to bail, but I hate failing more.

But! NaBloPoMo 2009 is done. I enjoyed it, I’ll do it again. But now I need an ice pack and ibuprofin for this stiff neck from hell that a massage seems to have only angered.

I saw this over at Kat’s blog, Poetikat’s Invisible Keepsakes, and had to steal it. Something easy for me to put out and see how well y’all know me…and for me to learn just how bad my memory is as you tell me that I’ve written on that very subject! (Pssst…lurkers! You can play too!)
The list below contains one blatant lie. See if you can pick it out.

Good luck!

1. I was once totally fluent in Spanish.
2. When I was in high school, I went through the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago in the middle of the night.
3. I recently became an investor in a winery in Chile.
4. I can change clothes in public without showing enough skin to be arrested.
5. I have eaten chicken feet and snails.
6. I have had surgery five times, two of them before I hit my teens.
7. In college, I was often mistaken for Bridget Fonda.
8. Before I took up the flute in 4th grade, I was convinced I was going to be a writer.
9. I have had my name run through the FBI database because of an unfortunate Mace incident.

Oh, I am just dying to hear what all you have to say about this.

Dear sweet God, but is it good to be home. I crawled into my soft and electric-blanket heated bed and nearly broke into tears. There…there was support! And there was comfort! And there was padding! No feeling of sleeping on a rigid trampoline! Ahhh… The drive home felt faster than the drive out, and we all arrived still speaking to one another. That is really too far of a trip for such a short period of time. We’ll drive out again next summer, when Tom’s sister gets remarried. On that trip, the plan is to continue to Chicago and play tourist in my hometown. If I get to hit IKEA and drag furniture home, I’ll call it a success no matter what.

Have you caught this story about these idiots crashing the White House State Dinner the other night? Really? You thought this would be a good idea, that you wouldn’t get caught? That charges wouldn’t be filed? Really? Reminds me of another idiot couple, who thought it’d be a great story that their son was stuck up in a homemade balloon. Hmmm…what do these two stories have in common? Both were  of couples trying to get onto a reality TV show. Is this really what our country has come to? Of people doing really stupid things in the hopes of getting onto television? How sad and pathetic. True honesty here: I hate reality TV. I don’t watch it, I have other things I’d rather do, and I’m not into the whole “he said, she said” basis of it all. It’s mean. I catch exactly two episodes of Survivor a year, when I’m at my scrapbooking retreat. I watch because the other four women love the show and I love them. I watch the rare Extreme Home Makeover episode; usually we’re watching animation on Fox that night. HATE reality TV. People, a suggestion for you? If you want to be famous, do something for the good of humanity. And then shut up about it. Oh, and if you want a real reality TV show, send moms off for a couple of months and leave the dads alone, with no instructions left by the moms and no contact info. Now that I’d watch.

I wish I could say I spent today recovering from our trip, but alas, it was not to be. Instead, laundry was done, Cub Scout popcorn money was handed in, the dog was picked up, XMAS lights were hung, homework was overseen, dinner was prepped, errands were run, and wine was drunk. Tomorrow? Second verse, same as the first.

But, damn, it’s good to be home.

Well, it didn’t take long. Just an extra ten days or so. Princess the PMSing Laptop is thisclose to being sold for parts, I just need to talk to my PC Guru again tomorrow afternoon to get the whole story. I finally got it and my EHD to my Guru yesterday, because they still weren’t talking. The EHD is fine, the OS hard drive is fine, the hard drive with all the files on it is toast. Not expecting that. I am so pissed I could spit nails and breathe fire. The computer is three years old and this will be the SECOND time I would need to replace that hard drive. I’ve already done both hard drives once, the DVD/CD tray, and the motherboard because the POS got so hot things melted. Yes, melted. Guru smelled smoke when he opened the case. Everything was still under warrantee then, so a PITA, but no prob.

Remember? Warrantee expired a week and a half ago. I did not renew.

We leave in 36 hours for several days in Iowa. I will be computerless, which means I will be frantically writing posts for NaBloPoMo in advance. I will not fail at that because of my POS laptop. Tom is on a business trip until tomorrow afternoon, I should be packing and prepping for the trip. Instead I’m writing, pricing out new Macs, and checking out the black market going rate for kidneys.

So! A poll!

Ahh…technology. Designed to make our lives easier and failing miserably.

Rah rah rah…sis boom bah!

***************************************************************

Dear nice PC Guru who has brought Princess the PMSing Laptop back from the dead several times:

I will sign a DNR if it means I get her back before I leave at o’dark thirty Monday morning. Please do not order parts. Please do not knock yourself out trying to figure out what is wrong. She is not recognizing my external hard drive and I just need that resolved. My EHD holds my entire iTunes library, and because it’s an EHD, Carbonite doesn’t back it up. I do realize that her extended warrantee ended last week and I’m on borrowed time, but please, no extended measures. I just need that POS back before I head to Iowa for a week.

Fantasizing over a MacBook Pro,

Jen

****************************************************************

Dear Facebook/real life friends who have found me here:

Hi! Welcome! Poke around awhile! Please leave comments, they’re like crack. Just be prepared that if you read here and I don’t know it and you mention to my face something you read, I will get a definite “deer in headlights” look as I desperately try to remember what the hell I wrote and dear God did I embarrass myself?

Feverishly wracking my brain,

Jen

******************************************************************

Dear Thanksgiving Week Off:

Please be gentle. Thank you.

Jen

******************************************************************

Dear sweet sons of mine:

On Monday we have a 14 hour drive through some of the most mind-numbing landscape outside of Wyoming. I will build you a Boy Cave  in the back of the MomVan. Please enter the Boy Cave and request nothing of me. You will have DVDs, Leapsters, books, food, and drink. There is nothing more you need. Bathroom breaks are every few hours and will be mandatory. I encourage naps. Lots of naps. Whining, complaining, and fighting may result in you hitchhiking the rest of the way. You’ve been warned.

P.S. Your computer’s keyboard sucks.

Love,

Mom

*********************************************************************

Dear CERN:

You guys are super cool and I love the advanced research you do. That said, I just finished reading “Flashforward,” and have caught on Twitter that the LHC is up and running today. Please don’t blow us up, and if there’s any kind of seeing into the future going on this evening, I expect a happy ending. One where my oldest son is working over there with you.

Go, particles, GO!

Jen

*********************************************************************

Dear husband:

I love you. I’m proud of you. You do great work.

Flowers. Just send flowers and I won’t want to wring your neck for needing travel so stinking much lately.

Loving peach roses,

Your schmoopie

**********************************************************************

Dear Universe,

You suck for moving A’s very best friend in the whole wide world away this weekend. You’d damn well better make it up to him BUT GOOD or I’m coming after you.

Sharpening her claws,

One Pissed Off Mama Bear

***********************************************************************

Dear readers:

Yeah, not as funny this week.

Le sigh,

Jen

************************************************************************

Have a great weekend!

You know how, in the winter, you’re outside playing in the snow on a sunny day and you gradually become accustomed to the sharp brightness? And then someone joins you, and they stumble around for awhile, snow blind, until they give up and go back inside? And you’re all, “What? It isn’t that bright out here! It’s fine, nothing to it, this is just how it is!” And they tell you, “Dude, you have any idea how bright it is out there? I don’t know how to tell you, but it’s really really blinding out there and boy, I don’t know how you do it.”

I need to remember this in relation to A’s giftedness.

It’s Gifted Week at the House of Chaos! Last night Tom and I had our weekly twice-exceptional parenting meeting (which we love), tonight I’m attending a presentation on the emotional well-being of gifted kids, then tomorrow night our last 2e meeting. All this unusual weeknight activity left us without a sitter for the boys, so I had to hunt around for a new one. A grandma in the area watches kids, she was available, she was hired. She even helped A with some of his homework; I should have offered her hazard pay.

We got home and when I asked how the boys were, she said they were fine…then hesitated.

“I helped A with his homework probably more than I should have (I assured her that was ok). But…(and she was having a hard time putting this into words)…he’s really bright, brilliant, probably smarter than me.” I could tell she was trying to say gifted without saying it, and I explained to her in 30 seconds or less what his situation was, with a side dish of 2e.

She had never met him before last night. I hear this so often from people who meet A for the first time and talk to him for longer than five minutes. He’s so bright! Yes, yes he is, and I forget that. I don’t see it anymore. It’s just who he is, and I don’t spend a lot of time with other kids his age other than volunteering in the classroom every other week. I no longer see the gift of giftedness, but only see the difficulties of twice-exceptionalities.

It’s been a hard few days with A and school, and I know it’s going to get much MUCH harder after Thanksgiving when his best friend is no longer there. I am so afraid of losing his spirit, and his thirst for learning is already starting to dry up. He is the smartest child I know, and I see him giving up that side of him because of school. Do this, not that. Here’s a page crammed full of math problems…go! Yup, writing is hard, we’ll make some accommodations for you, but you must copy this off the board (sorry the vision therapy hasn’t caught up yet to make this quick and easy for you) and if you don’t you must miss recess to catch up. Oh, and that busy work worksheet you didn’t finish? Take it home and complete it, please. Nevermind that you have the homework packet and a book report waiting for you there, as well as vision therapy and Cub Scouts and who needs downtime, anyway?

My heart breaks for him, and I know there are so many other families in the exact same boat. Our education system is not geared for outside the box thinkers, and outside the box thinkers are exactly what are needed in the outside world. I don’t know if I have it in me to homeschool him, but I can’t sacrifice his education for his schooling.

I know I’ll be reminded in the future of A’s giftedness, through the comments of others. They’re good to hear, because I do forget, or doubt, or ignore that part of him. I just don’t see it anymore, that’s simply how he is. But I hope to remember, through those comments, that there is a gifted person in there, buried beneath some of those challenges, and it’s my job to help him shine.

Fridays just wouldn’t be the same without Fragments and Dear So and So…

******************************************************************

Dear Sudden Downpour:

Wow, can you stop for maybe five minutes so my kids can get home dry? That’d be swell.

Nice and dry in her basement office,

Jen

*******************************************************************

Dear lady woman female creature at Hobby Lobby:

Really? Please tell me that was your shoe. I’ll comp you one ripper ’cause sometimes they just fly out, but the second one? Surely you can feel them coming! Or at least attempt to silence them! Good Lord. Oh, and because I’ve been there a thousand times with potty training toddlers, the bathroom is in the back, behind framing. You might want to go check your pants. Just sayin’…

Learn to cough to cover ‘em up,

Me

********************************************************************

Dear Whackadoo “Balloon Boy” Parents:

You were in court today. You plead guilty to being the Stupidest Parents Alive various charges. I expect this will be the last we hear of you.

You’re makin’ me look good,

Jen

*********************************************************************

Dear sweet sons of mine:

Suck it up. It’s not hailing, it’s heavy and unexpected rain/snow/sleety stuff. You have heavy jackets with hoods. You can see inside our house from inside the school. There is no way in hell I’m coming over to get you, and having the secretary call was a bad move on your parts.

I buy you warm clothing for a reason,

Mom

**********************************************************************

Dear 3rd grade teachers:

I was not spying on recess this afternoon, I was looking for my son because I love to watch him at recess. He cracks me up, running like a little madman and being silly. That I didn’t see him, causing me to believe he was kept in yet again, irks me, but I wasn’t spying. Even though you saw me and waved and I waved back.

Gonna watch Rear Window tonight,

A’s mom

Today is the last day of Princess the PMSing Laptop’s three year extended warranty. I know this only because the Geek Squad keeps sending me reminders. THE WARRANTY IS ABOUT TO EXPIRE! and RENEW NOW!  and YOUR COMPUTER WILL SELF-DESTRUCT 20 MINUTES AFTER MIDNIGHT TONIGHT! I’d actually believe that last one, given Princess’s track record. She seems to be doing ok right now (knockwoodmylipstoGod’searturnaroundthreetimesandspit), but my external hard drive is having trouble. It peed on the floor earlier, and now it’s curled up in the corner whimpering, with a hot and dry nose.

All of my music, THE ENTIRE iTunes library, is on the EHD. Needless to say, I’m a little concerned. I backup my computer through Carbonite, which has been wonderful and I know everything there is ok. However, Carbonite doesn’t yet have the capability to back up an EHD. So unless my PC Guru can breathe some life into the EHD, I’m going to own a newfangled doorstop that has hijacked 30GB of music.

Yes, 30GB. This is what happens when two musicians fall in love and combine CD libraries. Of classical music. God help us.

Just as long as the EHD doesn’t convince Princess to keel over too; I don’t know if I can return to the Apple Store so soon after drooling over the laptops there this weekend. I seriously embarrassed myself over the 1TB (that’s a terabyte, also known as an unholy crapton of memory), 27 inch desktop model with wireless keyboard and mouse. I had unclean thoughts about that machine…one piece, all monitor, so sleek, so modern, so sexy… Sorry, lost myself there.

Let’s just hope all is well in computer land, for I don’t want or need the hassle of computer transfer right now.

**************************************************************

Know what this was? A random filler post for NaBloPoMo. Just one of those days when heavy thinking and/or writing isn’t in the cards. Just keepin’ it honest here…

…and I’m not sharing.

Oh, sure, it looks like a harmless piece of blue paper from the school, but it’s a unicorn. The room is full of rainbows, glitter litters the floor, the delicious aroma of fresh-baked cookies permeates the air, and soft music soothes the senses. I have a unicorn. I think I will name him Wee Schnookums Weeblie the Magnificent.

A was accepted into the Gifted and Talented program for reading.

Awww…Wee Schnookums Weeblie the Magnificent just nuzzled me, gave me a backrub, and brought me a cup of hot chai! How nice of Wee Schnookums Weeblie the Magnificent! I woooove him!

I knew Wee Schnookums Weeblie the Magnificent existed, but it’s difficult to explain him when you’re constantly told of your child’s difficulties, of his failures. You know the unicorn is out there, but you get the impression that it’s tied to achievement and not ability, and that’s just wrong.

But Wee Schnookums Weeblie the Magnificent is here and like Snuffleupagus finally being “seen” and acknowledged (HAPPY BIRTHDAY SESAME STREET!), he can’t be ignored.

Welcome, Wee Schnookums Weeblie the Magnificent. I knew you existed, and thanks for the cup of chai.

Based on how bad I feel this morning I should have been up all night partying the night away, drinking straight EverClear with a Moonshine chaser. I think my body is testing how dizzy I can possibly get before I hit the wall and puke til I’m inside out. Today’s plans had originally included running errands, but as I can barely get across the room without falling over I think getting behind the wheel of the MomVan might be unwise. Somehow I did manage to get the boys off to school fed and watered and WITH a bento lunch (I did look at today’s lunch menu: “oriental noodle bowl” just didn’t sound right. At a restaurant, yum…at school, oh sweet Lord the sodium/sugar/fat content has to be through the roof. I hate school lunches).

Today’s plan of getting up and exercising has been scrapped, despite the fact that my fat slightly larger jeans are getting tight. I even got up and got the shoes on. Ain’t happenin’. A shower may be the extent of standing for me this morning if this doesn’t stop. I don’t feel sick, just “off” and dizzy. Practicing today for the recital I’m playing in next month? Unlikely.

Eh, the humor has spun right on outta me. Shower, comfy clothes, and then I’ll reevaluate the rest of the day. Bleh.