You know, I think that title sounds a wee bit familiar. Oh. Because I wrote a post in December titled “Yes, I AM the technological Angel of Death.” That would be why. Long story short and painful:

MacDreamy needs a new motherboard.

No. Not making this up. Not happy about this. I’ve been having problems with the display for a couple of months and finally dragged it into the Genius Bar this afternoon. After a 17 minute scan:

MacDreamy, noooo!

The video card is gasping, it’s connected to the motherboard, and before you can say Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious I have a new one on order. Through the miracle of warranties and the foresight that only comes through surviving Princess the PMSing Laptop, this will not cost me a cent. There is now a quiet corner waiting for me, where I can alternate sucking on my thumb and a margarita.

Next time I’m at a Boulder street fair I’m having my aura examined, my chakras soothed, and my karma rearranged.

Tom and I met 17 years ago last week. Truly a lifetime ago, but still feels like yesterday. As much time as we spend together, we’re still learning new things about the other. Kinda nice. Keeps the spark alive. Not really, but it sounds good. We met at band camp, and please feel free to make all the band camp jokes you’d like, but I’ve been to and worked at more band camps than I can count and I’ve never seen a band camp like the one made famous in that movie. Band camps like the one in that movie don’t exist, and if they do, they don’t exist for long. Sorry to burst that movie bubble. Just remember the whole “Suspension of Disbelief” that movies require, and you’ll be fine from here on out. You’re welcome. You may continue on your life journey now.

Going back to my husband. Yes, we met at band camp, and then he was my TA. And now, let’s make all the jokes about the TA and the undergrad. Again, overblown. Only once was he required to grade me and he passed it on to a different TA, so problem averted. It was actually pretty tame, come to think of it. Most of the profs at the music school were either dating, had dated, or had married students, so a TA and an undergrad wasn’t going to garner a lot of attention. I just tease him about it because of our age difference.

Our first date was to see “Robin Hood: Men in Tights.” Bad movie. Really bad. But. A Mel Brooks movie. One of his worst, but still, humor at its finest. We kinda knew then that we had something special. When the first date is to see a movie by the world’s finest Equal Opportunity Offender, you know. Doesn’t explain why I’m able to out-quote Tom with Family Guy cartoons, but at least he appreciates my talent.

Tom’s first Father’s Day gift was to the Broadway production of “The Producers” with Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick. He happened to be in NYC for meetings, he had a contact there snag him a ticket, and in my sleep-deprived haze I was thrilled for him.

(Yes, this is rambling. I’m getting to the point. I think. Maybe not. Humor me, it’s hot and my allergies are threatening to take the coup south from the sinuses and invade the lungs. And then the kumquats. Sniff, snort. Where’s the Benadryl? Screw the Benadryl, where’s the rum?)

On Friday we had tickets for the traveling production of “Young Frankenstein.” I’ve been a fan of this movie since I was about A’s age, so a very.long.time. Let us not do the math, for I do not like the answer. Not surprisingly, Tom and I can quote the movie nearly line for line (and also that of “Blazing Saddles,” my favorite Mel Brooks movie). He saw “Young Frankenstein” on Broadway in New York a couple years ago (seeing a theme here?) and he knew I’d love it. He was correct. Unbelievable show. I knew it would be good, but this was even better than I expected. Sadly, I was cross-eyed tired by mid-second act and struggled to stay awake.

The boys have asked to watch “Young Frankenstein,” and we’ve managed to put them off to this point. We think they’ll miss some of the bawdier humor, but we’re not entirely sure we’re ready for them to watch it. I know passing lines back and forth with them will continue what my parents began, a deep love of the absurd, I’m just not sure I’m ready for it yet. But I gotta tell ya, they’re gonna love it when they do watch it.

With parents like they have, it’s their destiny. And we all know, there’s no escaping destiny. Right, Dr. Frahnkensteen?

Things were wonderful in the beginning. I felt supported, like someone “had my back.” I slept like a baby, and woke without a care in the world.

And then things gradually deflated.

No more sleeping like a baby. I would toss and turn in bed, whispering “why? what have I done to lose you?” and cry softly, my pain intensifying every night. Our relationship went from friendly and supportive to flat and distant. I was heartbroken and in pain.

But no more. It ends this week.

I need a new pillow.

I decided to fragment today, partly because I have so much detritus cluttering up my brain that I’m afraid it’s going to explode and since I hate cleaning I’d have to hire someone to do it and do you know what it costs to have emergency home cleaners scrape brain matter off the ceiling on a weekend when it’s a hundred freaking degrees and partly because…eh, I don’t know why. ‘Cause I’m the M.I.C., as I tell the boys.

Mom.In.Charge. THOU SHALT OBEY!!!

Ahem.
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I participated in a #gtchat this morning regarding gifted children and humor. Deborah, moderator of the chat and an all-around awesome person, said this:

@laughingatchaos – Your blog posts make me ROFL…self-deprecating authenticity + humor = hilarity.#gtchat

Bless her heart, she made my day.
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After a long crappy winter and an endless cool and wet spring, summer has descended upon the House of Chaos with a vengeance. Temperatures in the upper 80s to 90s has me hiding in my dungeon office. The tomatoes in my garden are perking up with the heat (and lack of water; they were drowning), Roger the Rhubarb Plant Hell Bent on World Domination is plotting his yearly coup, and the garlic is screaming “harvest me! harvest me!” so loudly the neighbors are getting pissed and looking for pitchforks. You know, to harvest. I shall harvest tomorrow. But I still wonder…where am I going to harden 20+ pounds of garlic? I kid thee not, I have a minimum of 20 pounds of garlic in my backyard. Rough problem to have, I know.
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It’s date night. Tom and I have tickets to see “Young Frankenstein” downtown tonight, with dinner beforehand. Hope we remember how to act out in public.
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How my dog can stand to be around herself is a miracle. Girlfriend needs a bath. She was fine until the boys doused her with the hose last week; been wet/hot/smelly dog ever since.
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The boys are entrepreneurs! Who knew. Last week I had a blissful hour to myself in the house, while they “washed” my car with spray bottles. Found out later they went door to door on our block, offering the same service to our neighbors for the low low price of $10. This is why I believe our sons have been a very effective form of birth control for the young couples on our block.
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How much do I love sitting on hold? Let me count the ways. Minute one…minute two…minute twelve…minute seventeen…minute thirty-freaking-five…sigh…I’d like that part of my summer back, please.
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Hey Jen, haven’t heard much about that detox diet you were doing. Good reason for that, gentle questioner. I said screw it to half of it last week (yes, that would be the NO ALCOHOL half) and the other half (the no red meat half) ended yesterday. Bet your sweet ass I’m having a hunk of meat tonight. And perhaps a steak at dinner. Bah dum dum!
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I’m working on a chores chart thingamajig for the boys (if you get Family Fun magazine, it’s the “Don’t Lose Your Marbles” article in there; no link online, I’ve searched). Any suggestions for chores? Please help my sons; I’m on the lookout for a family farm that desperately needs stall-muckers. I suppose I could just let them clean up around the house, but I thought stall-mucking might be a good summer activity.
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And, finally, I’ll be attending The Theatah in shorts and a tanktop, sans makeup, if I don’t get a move on. Kindly visit Mrs. 4444 and donate your Fragments!

So I’ve had a few days to reflect on my week of logging my time for the 168 Hours Challenge, and I’ve come to a startling conclusion.

When I don’t log the time, it disappears. For example, I had to get up at the crack of crazy this morning to help get my menfolk off to Cub Scout Day Camp today. They left nearly ninety minutes ago and I’ve done little beyond eat breakfast and drink coffee while reading blogs/emails. While it’s something I enjoy doing and it does need to get done, I also know that if I didn’t need to get up right now to refresh my coffee I’d still be sitting here until the realization hit that I have somewhere to be and hooboy, gonna hafta skip the leg-shaving in the shower again this morning (Hey, I have long legs, takes awhile!).

It comes down to mindfulness and intention. I have too much I want to do with my life to spend it mindlessly too often. Mindless on a Saturday night watching a bad movie or sitting on a cruise ship deck with a frosty drink is one thing; mindless on a random Tuesday morning is something entirely different. I have books that I want to read (my “to read” list is in the hundreds), memories to create and record with children who are growing up much too quickly, hobbies to pursue, writing to throw myself into, new interests to investigate…they all pull on me with equal weight, few get accomplished, none to my high standards. I’m told this is a gifted adult trait. Swell.

So how did my time break down? Well, I was going to break down activities by time, but I’d also like to shave my legs this morning and the clock is ticking. What I noticed is that I spend way too much time picking up after the boys. I saw that early in the week and cracked down quickly. They’re both old enough to pick stuff up and throw it away/put it away/shove it into the pits known as their bedrooms. I’ve also declared this summer The Summer Of Learning To Make Your Own Damned Breakfast. It’s done my soul good. They both know how to pour cereal and make a microwave egg, so they’re not going to starve. I just can’t handle morning meal complaints any more, so make it yourself or wait for lunch. I saw that I spend much more time than I thought preparing food. That amuses me greatly, as I am not a fan of cooking. I do it, I do it well, it’s just not something I loooove to do. But. Most of the time on food prep was just that: food preparation, not cooking a meal. We joined a CSA this summer, and so have a lot of produce coming through the door every week. I want it to be easily accessible and ready to eat, so I have to wash/cut/saute/freeze for later so it doesn’t go bad. (I’m not the only one doing this, either; quite a few of my friends are learning to can and dehydrate and freezer prep food this summer). I consider this time spent on food prep to be well worth it, because it’s a place where I am truly living my values. With the various food sensitivities in this house, I have to be considerably more mindful (ooh, there’s that word again!) about meals and snacks. I spent a lot of time doing paperwork for my new job, and then doing the new job. I love that it’s flex hours from home, it’s the ideal situation for me at this point in my life. While I spent a lot of time with the boys (it is summer, after all!), it was mostly car and errand time. I did play Wii with them for awhile, and we love to hang out and wrestle and have tickle-fights, but no long stretches of Together Time. I feel this should bother me, but it doesn’t. I’m not their primary entertainment, and I refuse to be. They are better off entertaining themselves or each other. We do go do things as a family (museums and movies are favorites), and often have family pizza movie night like we did last Friday, but I’m not going to be Playmate #1. Too much time last week was spent in running errands, even with stacking them together to do all at once. Need to work on that. As much as I may disagree, I am getting plenty of sleep and need to drag my sorry ass out of bed earlier. Sleeping past 6:30 on a weekday will have to end; I’ll truly enjoy the day better if I get up a few hours earlier. I spent hardly any time at all reading, and this breaks my heart. My parents used to joke about surgically removing books from my hands when I was a kid. I lost that when I started college and have struggled with making time to read ever since. Most of my reading is done while eating, which doesn’t lend itself to concentration or conversation. Finally, I noticed that my most productive time is between about 10 am and 4 pm. Before 10 is the best time for me to do mindless stuff (hmmm…mindful vs. mindless) like going to the gym (which I didn’t do enough of last week because I started a new job and was still figuring out how to balance it all), planning out the day, tidying up the house. Mindless stuff. After 4 I just want to get dinner going, find the wine/margarita/gin and tonic, and start to wrap up the day. So those six productive hours have to be used for everything else.

After doing this challenge, I have a much better appreciation of my time and what I could be doing with it. Knowing that I have 168 hours a week and I’m getting plenty of sleep, I just need to resolve to be more mindful with the remaining hours. Not everything has to be done every.single.day. So, with that in mind:

• I want to go to the gym four days a week
• I want to read every day
• I want to scrapbook/play with photos two days a week
• I want to write every day
• I want to work on increasing community on this blog every other day
• I want to spend time with Tom every day
• I want to spend time with the boys every day
• I want to choose a project from the list and work on it three days a week
• I want to work every day
• I want to be more effective with my time
• I want to spent less time in mindless pursuits, so I can work towards a mindless vacation (yo, Disney Cruise Line, I’m looking at you)
• While I want to spend less time on the computer and relying on technology, most of what I do is computer-based. I want to be more mindful of my time on the computer.
• I do not want to become a slave to the clock, for that will only make my miserable

Nothing earth-shaking there, eh?

It’s all about mindfulness and intention. Now. I intend to hit the shower and start my day.

With shaved legs.

Again, yes, I realize Day Seven was yesterday. I do also realize that with better time management that I probably could have gotten this posted last night. But I do know one thing: Dinner Date Night is sacred and I wasn’t getting back on the computer. So, the log:

6:00 am: Mistakenly up with the boys because I thought it was later than it was. No Father’s Day Breakfast in Bed Surprise is worth getting up at 6 am on a Sunday. A had already been up for an hour.
6:03 am: Passed out on couch after threatening the boys with pink nail polish and Princess videos if they woke me.
7:00 am: Breakfast in bed to Tom, snuggling with the fam in bed
7:45 am: Breakfast, paper
9:30 am: Cleaned up
10:15 am: Toy Story 3
1:15 pm: Lunch
2:45 pm: Emails
3:00 pm: Pay bills (I live such an exciting life)
3:30 pm: Emails, Twitter
4:30 pm: Pick garlic scapes from the garden (MMmmm…), Twitter, emails
5:00 pm: Update iPhone (ooh, got the new iOS4 today…it’s glitter and fairies and unicorns farting rainbows all wrapped up in a tidy little package), Shutterfly (which took forever because Safari kept crashing on the site)
5:45 pm: Clean kitchen, reboot laundry
6:00 pm: Talk to my SIL about wedding photos I want to order
6:30 pm: Get boys dinner
6:45 pm: Chat with a friend who stopped by to pick up our old sandbox
7:15 pm: Boys to bed (early because of Dinner Date Night; they read until 8 pm)
7:30 pm: Dinner Date Night (dinner with the movie 2012, which couldn’t have been any more over the top)
10:oo pm: Bed
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So there ya go. Seven days of keeping a time log. I learned a few things, was surprised by a few things, and wasn’t surprised by other things. So glad I did this; I highly recommend it if you’ve been wondering where time has been going.

Ooh, a rare double post! Mark the calendar. Taking notes on my daily time log has become habit; I think that’s a good thing. I do recognize that I’m more aware of my time.

7:30 am: Hauled self out of bed after an extended puppy-pile cuddle with the whole fam damily
8:30 am: Take the boys’ computer to my Computer Guru, run to Hobby Lobby, grocery store
10:30 am: Read blogs
11:00 am: Food prep (Quinoa Tabbouleh, Jicama salad, lunch prep)
1:00 pm: Lunch
1:30 pm: Cleaned kitchen
2:00 pm: Emails, cleaned up online stuff
4:00 pm: Practiced duets with a friend for my last day playing at church
5:00 pm: Chair massage from aforementioned friend who is studying to be a massage therapist
5:30 pm: Dinner with friend and her family
6:30 pm: Hang with friends
8:00 pm: Boys’ showered and bed
8:45 pm: Help Tom with his Google calendar and syncing
9:00 pm: Read blogs
9:45 pm: Start blog posting
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And because I am all about being exciting and hip and cutting-edge, I’m going to rock this couch for the rest of the night. I know you’re jealous.

Yes, day 5 was yesterday. I made the executive decision to hang out with my husband and crash on the couch instead of posting the day’s log. I’m making up for it now; he and I are both crashed on the couch with our respective laptops open, typing away. We’re bringing sexy back, I tell ya what!

7:00 am: Up, breakfast, hang out with the boys, plan the day
9:00 am: Get cleaned up
9:45 am: Catch up on emails
10:00 am: #gtchat on Twitter
11:00 am: Talked to my mom, bandaged knees (if this week is any indication we’re going to run out of bandaids on a regular basis), scheduled J’s 6th birthday party
Noon: Prepped lunch for the boys
12:30 pm: Signed A up for golf lessons/boys to camp
1:15 pm: Lunch for me
1:30 pm: New job paperwork
2:20 pm: Work making calls
3:45 pm: Get boys
4:15 pm: Fix boys’ computer, business call, start pizza dough, make dinner, mail, hang with the fam
6:30 pm: Movie pizza dinner
8:30 pm: Boys to bed
9:00 pm: Hang out with Tom (aka pass out on the couch watching TV)
11:30 pm: Stumble to bed
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Truly, I live a life on the edge.

Okay, day four. Things are going well, I’m noticing some stuff. Wrapping my brain around it all. I’ll paste here what I wrote this morning on Laura Vanderkam’s 168 Hours Forums page on Facebook:

Halfway through the week, I’m surprised and not by what I’ve found. I spend a lot more time than I thought cleaning up after my boys. At 9 and almost 6, they can do more. I’ve also started making them make their own breakfasts; I’m tired of the whining in the morning over what I’ve made. Okee dokee then, you’re on your own. I spend a lot of time running around: taking the boys places, running errands. Even though I do stack them up to mostly do on one day, it adds up. And I multi-task waaaayyyyy too much. Eating while checking email, or catching the headlines on my iPhone while combing out my wet hair. It’s not terribly efficient, and makes me feel like I run around like a crazed chicken and get nothing done. I’d like to work to the point where the only multi-tasking I do is hearing the washing machine run as I do something else.
What I *would* like to do more of is easy. I’d like to write more, scrapbook more, read more. When it’s something that’s important to me, something I truly love to do, I tend to put it off until everything else is done. Then I either never get to it or I’m too tired to follow through. This was a problem in college when I was a flute performance major and often had that feeling about practicing for hours on end. (Work around: schedule a lot of recitals so you HAD to practice).
What I’ve noticed as I keep the log is that I’m a lot more aware of what I’m doing with my time. I’m keeping my online play time down (though it did creep back up yesterday). I’m finding that 15 minutes isn’t too little to do a quick weed of the garden boxes or brainstorm with the boys what we want to do this summer. I’m looking at time in a different way.
Now. To just *finish* the book! In my defense, I have to wrest it from my husband first…

So there ya go. Insight mid-week. Here’s today’s log.

7:00 am: Up, cleaned up, start laundry
8:00 am: Breakfast (damn, mornings are soooo peaceful when you insist the boys make their own breakfasts and you just get to sit and watch and drink coffee! Ahhhh…)
8:30 am: Plan the day, emails
9:30 am: Playgroup
11:30 am: Lunch
12:15 pm: New job paperwork
12:45 pm: Boys to camp
1:15 pm: Work at new job
3:45 pm: Get boys from camp
4:00 pm: Get veggies from CSA, Walmart. Here you see the two facets of my split personality: organic vegetables from a local farm, and the world’s largest merchant of crap. Yes, I did indeed check my soul at the door, thanks for asking
5:00 pm: Reboot laundry, feed dog, random household stuff (ok, honesty check here…I really can’t remember what the hell I did for this hour…)
6:00 pm: Tastefully Simple party at a friend’s house. Here I not only fell off the detox diet wagon, I leapt off head first with a smile on my face. That was one fiiiine drink. Or three.
8:00 pm: Tuck boys in, check on A who is having the Allergy Attack From The Black Lagoon. Poor kid looks like he’s been slugged in the eyes repeatedly with a frozen carp.
8:30 pm: Wash and prep the CSA produce….and this is only the beginning. Dum dum dummmmm!!!!! It gets harder and takes longer as the summer goes on. In fact, I have stuff cooking upstairs that I might want to go check on before the house is nothing but a pile of organic cinders.
9:30 pm: Write this post, IM on Facebook with a dear friend of mine. Actually, the oldest friend I have, we’ve known each other since kindergarten. Facebook, for as much as you suck privacy donkey danglies, I love you for reconnecting the two of us.
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The rest of the night will be me turning off MacDreamy and falling face-first onto the pillow. Well, maybe a wee snack first, but then, definitely, face smack.

I’m starting to see patterns now in how I spend my time. Like, I spend more time than I should picking up after the heathens I call my sons. It’s not noted on my log because it’s a few minutes here and a few minutes there, but as I’m more aware of my time, holy hell do I spend a lot of minutes doing that. Gonna end. I’m also more aware of how much I multi-task, and I think that may be why I feel like I never really get anything accomplished.

I’d also sell my sons for a glass of wine right now. Or chocolate. Or bacon. Or chocolate covered bacon washed down with wine. Bloody detox diet. I have a Tastefully Simple party to attend tomorrow night, followed by book club (haven’t read the book…sigh), and by God I’m going off that diet for tomorrow night!

Digression, digression…

Today’s log.

7:45 am: Drag sorry ass out of bed, eat breakfast while reading emails/Facebook (I’ve started making the boys make their own breakfasts; I’m sick of the whining and complaining about what I make that early in the day)
8:45 am: Get cleaned up, tidy up the house
9:55 am: Read Sunday comics, email, Facebook, Twitter
10:45 am: Plan the summer with the boys
11:15 am: Gardening
12:00 noon: Mutter nastily at MacDreamy why I can’t open an Excel file with Mac’s Numbers, prepare boys’ lunches
12:45 pm: Boys to camp
1:00 pm: Conference call for new job while sitting in car…dash home
1:20 pm: Continue conference call at home
2:00 pm: Set up Excel/Numbers fix, fill out new job paperwork
2:30 pm: Lunch while reading emails
3:00 pm: Renew Illinois teaching certificate online because I can’t find the paper copy and yes, it really did take an entire freaking half hour of my life
3:30 pm: Phone calls
3:45 pm: Get boys from camp
4:00 pm: Library, renew subdivision’s membership cards so I can embarrass myself in a swimsuit in public this summer
4:30 pm: Hang with boys
4:45 pm: Emails
5:00 pm: Prep dinner
5:30 pm: Dinner
6:30 pm: Emails, set up HootSuite (which is giving me more than a few fits)
7:00 pm: Call around to find sitter for next Friday night. Seriously teens, I pay well. Quit growing up and going out.
7:30 pm: Supervise showers, bedtime stories, tuck in boys
8:30 pm: Write this post
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The rest of the evening will likely be read, avoid looking at the box of wine on the fridge, maybe some TV, ignore the wine calling me, order Father’s Day gifts for my dad and FIL, and pretend that water tastes like wine. No, please, no Jesus comments on that last one.

With a time log keeping me honest and a new job, I really picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue…erm…give up wine.